This topic is something which covers more than just the eleven-plus since this could help your child feel a lot more happy and settled inside, and that’s got to be good.

“And what surprised me was she was already achieving over ninety per cent.”

I was tutoring a student recently, a top-performing year five candidate, one who has been diligently putting in the time at home to achieve some great scores in her eventual tests.

We’d already reviewed her recent work across the various topics (all good and in the nineties) and we’d just started working on one of those extra-tricky maths papers that some of the ultra-competitive schools love to set candidates.

Ouch!

So here we are, zipping through a lovely paper when we happen upon one of “those” questions; the ones which require a lot more thought than the average entrance test paper, and then she went quiet.

“Give it a go,” I said. “See how you get on.”

So I waited for a few minutes.

Then I waited a little longer.

Then said, “It’s ok if you’re stuck. Just tell me how far you’ve got and we’ll take it from there.”

It was clear from her voice that she was trying, unsuccessfully to hold back tears, that she wasn’t happy to not be able to come up with an answer.

It was a tricky maths question requiring a student to do some nifty juggling with proportion and time, so it was perfectly ok for her to get a little stuck, but she was not giving herself any wiggle room and was acting as if she ‘should’ have known how to do that question, immediately.

She’s a quiet girl, but very capable, and I was sure that with a little nudge in the right direction, she’d crack this question, but she was stuck in her mind where she ‘knew’ she was no good.

Maybe you’ve noticed this with your child; on the one hand, they can crack on and deal with some of the trickier parts of any eleven-plus work, but on the other hand, it can take just one awkward question to shake their confidence and make them feel as if it’s all for nothing.

Self-Sabotage

One of the things I’ve seen many otherwise confident children do whilst preparing for their eleven-plus is to sabotage themselves, to in effect ‘down tools’ when they’ve got stuck on a question they feel they ‘should’ know how to do.

But why? Why should an otherwise strong candidate stop running in the race, or slow down such that other competitors stream past them?

Because that’s EXACTLY what will happen in their test.

Sitting there, clock ticking, brain hurting, ‘knowing’ they should attempt the question or move on but stuck, undecided, unsure which way to turn.

Tick, tick, tick.

How to deal with this

I’m sure you buckle up your seatbelt every time you go on a journey, even though the chances of having an accident are thankfully very slim.

In the same fashion, we need to ensure your child has a safety belt plan that will automatically help them to avoid crashing in their actual eleven-plus test when every second counts.

Stuck? Do this

Help your child to remember how far they’ve come and how strong their scores have been so far.

Remind them that most children will find some of the questions tricky, and rather like running a cross-country event in the rain, slipping over and landing in the mud once or twice (not getting an answer correct) doesn’t mean they’ll be disqualified – they can still put up a great score.

Make sure they’ve got some good, fast-acting techniques for getting ‘under the hood’ of any tricky questions so they can identify what the question is ‘really’ asking them to do.

Have them count to ten (under their breath!) and if they’re still stuck then maybe they should leave that question behind and dive into the next one.

There has NEVER been a top-performing sportsperson who hasn’t had a run of missed shots, saved goals or puts that just missed the hole.

The top performers know and expect this, and still take the next shot with a clean mind.

Have your child EXPECT some questions to be just that bit too tricky (it is a top test, after all) and they can let those shots go.

It’s the next one and the next one…

Those are the ones that will build up their superb test score.

SUCCESS IS ONE QUESTION AWAY

Let me know how your child’s getting on with their test preparation – I read and respond to every email (no AI autoresponders here!) so if you’d like to ask me any questions, click here and begin typing.